The "Grey" Area

Tonight I asked Tommy to give me his perspective on "Fifty Shades of Grey". I have been reading a lot of commentary from believers and non believers alike about this book and the spectrum seems to be extremely broad; either they love it or they are totally against it. After doing my own research on the book, my personal opinion is that it is not only degrading to women but it is damaging to the marriages of it's readers. I for one don't allow pornography in my home, it would hurt me to my core if my husband were lustful in his heart, mind, or eyes for any other woman. Sex is about visuals for men, while for women it's more in their minds and emotions; that is what this book plays on... creating a fantasy and "grey" area for it's readers. I'm in NO way judging anyone who has read or is going to read this series, hear my heart ladies (or men) I am simply saying that we need to guard our hearts and our minds and keep them holy and pure before the Lord and our husbands. Our sexual desires should be stimulated and fulfilled by our husbands alone, they deserve our full hearts, heads, and emotions in the most intimate part of our marriage... not the leftovers from a book we read, movie we watched, or some guy we saw. I say this to myself as well as to you, reading this... no judgement, just love and sincerity. We all have things in our lives that convict us, mine are different from yours... and we have to walk them out for ourselves before the Lord. Here is a man's take on the matter:

 

Unfortunately Katie has asked me to post my opinion about this book. She has said that she wanted to see a husbands perspective about this apparently hot topic among believers and non believers. I say unfortunately because it is yet anoth...er issue that has come up among Christian brothers and sisters in Christ and there is not a clear defining line. Please don't misunderstand, this topic is not at all new in our homes, its just brought to the surface by this author and I am not at all judging people for their choices, God is the judge of your heart and no one else should tell you otherwise. Some people believe that this trilogy is harmless reading and after all what is really wrong with a "little fantasy" about another man, his mistress, and their contractual agreement to pursue whatever desires they please. Mr. Grey represents just that doesn't he. That "Grey" line between fantasy and reality for the reader. It's ok because it's in that "Grey" area and we really aren't lusting or coveting after someone who isn't our partner and when people question us and hold us accountable we call them judgmental because they shouldn't tell us that we can't read this book because it's in the grey area. Who are they to judge? What do they know that I don't? Who are they to say that it is dangerous to live in the "Grey" area? Most of us are not judgmental. Most of us have felt the effects of sexual impurity in marriage. I'm not talking about cheating on your wife but just the look into a magazine at a scantily clad women who are not your wife. Most of us, those called judgmental, can plainly see the effects of those types of women degrading books on people's marriages because they know the pain their wife felt when they admitted that they had lust in their heart. Men I call this post unfortunate because a lot of men have let their families down in this area and very few have posted anything, good or bad, about this book that I have seen so far and if you have, thank you. This post is unfortunate because we say that this book is ok but yet we can't figure out the communication issues people have in their marriages. We can't figure out why divorce is so rampant in our nation and churches. We can't figure out why living together before marriage is the norm and the beautiful gift of intimacy, not just in the bedroom mind you, between a man and woman is so degraded. Women ask why does my husband look at that stuff and men ask why does my wife not respect me? Maybe it's because we can't clearly define the line, maybe it's because we would rather live in the "Grey" area. Men, please stand up for your wives and share your opinions about this book, we stand in the background enough don't you think? Men of God, be courageous, Take a stand!

Do You Believe in Life After Facebook?

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Remember that Cher song that we all hated/loved/hated... Do you believe in life after love?... that came to mind today when I made the choice to stop using Facebook for a while... as I contemplated my decision and felt my heart beating inside of my chest I began to ask myself, "Do you believe in life after facebook?"... why is it so hard to let it go? That's when I knew I really did have to let it go... it's become something too big in my life. I feel as if I need to stand in front of a room of people and say, "Hi, my name is Katie and I am a facebook addict." I know this seems absurd but the truth is that I go days without reading the Word of God but I can't go 1 hour without checking facebook to see what's going on, who's doing what, who liked my picture, or my status or lets get even more real... was that status directed at me?, why doesn't this person ever respond to me on here but they respond to everyone else?, and why wasn't I invited. Seriously, I have had these thoughts and I know how ridiculous they are. The truth is that Facebook doesn't bring me peace, it doesn't bring me closer to God, and it doesn't create things in my thought life that are pure, holy, noble, lovely, or admirable. I'm not saying that facebook is a bad thing or that I don't find some happiness in it. I enjoy posting pictues of my family, seeing pictures of my friend's families, and everyone knows that if you want to know information about anyone all you have to do is view a few pages! Leaving Facebook behind is going to make me feel less connected to people and to life but I think that might be just what I need.

The truth is that I should have done this a year ago. I should have logged off for a while and learned a new way of life when my world was changing so much. Someone very close to me shared with me that I am more stressed now than I was when I was working 50+ hours a week. That should not be the case. However, I'm not spending my time in an effective way. I'm not spending the time with the Peace giver. I tell myself it's because I don't have time but then I look at my facebook usage, how much time I watching television, and how much time I spend on Pintrest it's abundantly clear that time isn't my issue, my issue is time managment and priorities. Facebook shouldn't take priority over playing in the floor with my son. It shouldn't take priority over actually talking with people. It definitely shouldn't take priority over spending time with God.

John Wesley's mother described sin this way, ""Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."

For me, that pretty much sums it up. I have allowed facebook to become a sin for me... because it has taken a place in my life that it never should have. It causes me anxiety and keeps me from doing the things I should be doing. I know this is a bluntly honest post but I have to stop caring what the world thinks of me and start caring a lot more of what God has to say about me.

Peace and Blessings! (for you KB!)

Twenty Six ~ Fresh Start ~ New Leaf ~ Lessons Learned

I have had a wonderful birthday! I love when my birthday falls on Easter, I truly feel that it's a special present from God to me... because, I'm His favorite! (and so are you!) Twenty-six... A number I have been dreading for the crazy reason that I am now on THAT side of 30! However, I have had a change of heart; actually, I've been experiencing a change of heart over the past few months. I have often viewed my life as not enough, not what I had exactly anticipated, certainly filled with bad choices thrown in there with incredibley good ones. I have pretty much always gone against the grain... to the beat of my own drum! I have felt recently that my life has included a lot of failure; I haven't yet graduated from college, I'm overweight, my husband and I have debt that we need to pay off, and there are things that happened in the past year that satan tried to use to solidify these feelings of failure and lack of purpose and destiny. But God... God sees me for who He created me to be. He created me for His purposes, for a destiny that I am discovering daily as I seek His face. I'm learning that it doesn't matter what the world says about me, it doesn't matter what some friends or family say about me, what matters is what God says about me. Quite honestly, if the people in my life aren't supporting God's view of me and encouraging me to seek Him and become all that He has for me, if they are fueling the flame of failure rather than the flame of success, if they are pulling me in the wrong direction, then it's probably a sign that they don't need to be in my inner circle. I am learning that with age (most of the time) comes wisdom and I have decided that life is just too short. Too short to worry about who's talking about me. Too short to worry about who doesn't like me or something I do. Too short to worry about every single detail. Too short to spend time with people that drag me down. Too short to do anything less than live a life pleasing unto God!!

One of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life is that I let life pass me by. I neglect the moment and before I know it, the moment has passed. Well, not anymore! I am determined to savor each second God blesses me with life, to enjoy life's smallest gifts, to listen to my son's every noise becasuse all too soon, he won't want Mommy to to attend to his every need. I am determined to love my husband and respect him as the man of God that he is, to value our marriage as holy and sacred before the Lord and to be thankful that we found love so young! I am determined to live my life on purpose!

26 will be my best year yet! I've already begun a process of change. Change in my mind, change in my lifestyle, change in my body, and even change in wardrobe! I'm allowing God to do a work on the inside and on the out. I already made mistakes today in my journey of becoming all that I can be but tonight as I type this, I can say with purness of heart that I have no unforgiveness because I called a person that I have been harboring unforgiveness towards, humbled myself, and asked for forgivness and offered it. That makes me free to be forgiven of my sins and mistakes. Glory to God! I've learned that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of what we make it!! I'm going to make this year great inspite of what comes my way... I already know that this year has to be better than last year because through the trials and tears of this year, God has made my skin thicker, my spirit stronger, and my heart more full of compassion! Watch out world... this year will see a growing me... I will be shrinking in size physically but growing in size spiritually!! God is going to do amazing things... all for His glory!

Just a couple of photos to show the outward tranformation that has taken place since my last birthday and lyrics to a song that sums it up!

 Me and Mr. Eli last year on my birthday!

 Me and Mr. Eli this year at my birthday celebration!

 Me with my sis Kayla

 Me with my sister Shelley!

Me with the most wonderful husband that a girl could ask for!!

There's some things that I regret,

Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

Blood Water Mission - Put Down Your Soda and Build a Well!!

Here is what I spoke briefly about on facebook. Lent begins tomorrow, February 22nd. If you are a friend of mine who doesn't observe lent, I'm in no way suggesting that you shouldn't join me also!! I think everyone should... think of the domino effect that would take place if everyone reading this put down their soda or other drink of choice and took up water for 40 days! We take water for granted (I'm a top notch offender!) and I am committing to remember that water isn't a luxury that everyone has. Imagine if tomorrow when you went to give your child a drink that is was filthy and full of bacteria, how horrible would that be. What if someone could do something about it but instead they went about their day ignoring the problem, chugging soda, and acting as if drinking clean water was a chore they must suffer through. I am that person, I have a lot of friends that are that person. Are we sinning in this choice? I'm not going to answer that question, I'm simply going to say two things that Jesus said, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." and "whatever you do to the least of these, you have done unto me." If you plan to participate, please let me know, I want to see how wide we can get this thing to spread... just so we can look back and see how much a difference it makes to put down the soda and pick up the water... how much money does it free up for the use for the kingdom?Blessings and happy water drinking!!

 

We don't think about it - really. On the way to work, we swing by our favorite coffee shop to grab that jolt to get us started. After a workout, we slurp a blended fruit smoothie to sustain us. In the evening, we get together with friends over beverages to celebrate the end of another day.

What if we didn't have those choices? What if water was the only option to sustain us? And what if we had to walk miles to get water - only to have a water source that is contaminated and full of disease?

Choose to make tap water your only beverage for 40 Days between March 9 - April 23 to help Blood:Water Mission provide clean water for people in Africa who don't have a choice.

By giving up what you'd normally drink in exchange for the water from your tap you can save that money to help build clean water projects for communities in Uganda.

So ditch the morning coffee and o.j., leave out the lunchtime soda, and cancel the evening beverage. You won't need an ark for this 40 Days of Water, but you will need a little self-discipline and maybe a few friends to join you. But we know you can do it, because you know who you're doing it for. Make the choice.


Check back soon for more info and how to sign up!

***So why is Forty Days actually 46 days long?
Forty Days follows the traditional Lenten season calendar which consist of 40 fast days and 6 sabbath rest days. So essentially you get one day a week off, most people take Sunday off. How you choose to observe Forty Days is up to you.

Can you feel the love?

A recent episode of Anderson Cooper sparked a debate on Facebook; before I get bombarded with comments, let me say that I'm not saying that the debate was in any way wrong nor am I taking sides; the whole thing just got me thinking and fired up about a completely different issue than what was being debated. So, if you were one of the people involved in the debate and are reading this, please feel nothing but my love... no hate going on here!

The (horrible) episode was about the children of working moms verses the children of stay at home moms and as we all know, this is an age old debate. On this episode, working mothers were calling stay at home moms lazy; which is far from reality and completely uncalled for; and is what made a lot of stay at home moms angry. However, what gets my blood running hot is when mothers put other mothers down; in this case it was the working moms putting down the stay at home moms but let's face it, the shoe has been on the other foot more times than we care to recognize. Here are just a few of the (misguided) stereotypes from each side of the fence: SAHM are lazy, incompetent, moochers, bon bon eaters, and they are heavier in weight. WM are withdrawn workaholics who only care about themselves, their careers, and getting rich. These are just a few; you know there are many more out there. Let's face it, I don't care which side of the fence any of us reside (I have lived on both) we all work our tail ends off to provide for and meet the needs of our family, we go to bed exhausted, we feel guilty whenever we are away from them no matter what the reason, and our to do lists are never ending!!

The debates span way beyond this argument into how we raise our children. On a schedule, not on a schedule, what they eat, what they don't eat, how they are disciplined, and how they don't have any discipline. I am a Babywise Mommy, I had Eli on a schedule, I don't allow him to drink soft drinks, sweet tea, or even juice because I don't think that he needs the added sugar especially since I have a family history of diabetes, obesity, and heart disease. This is what works for our family, I don't ask that you embrace it, but I ask that you respect it. I have a very good friend who is a doctor as well as her husband. Their children aren't on a schedule because if they were, they would never see them. I understand and respect their style because it's what works for them and their children are thriving. A close friend of mine has a saying that I love, "different isn't better or worse, it's just different."

All that being said, doesn't society and the media beat us up enough? We can't pass a magazine stand without seeing how we should be thinner, eat healthier, cook better, child rear more appropriately, work a full time job, chase our dreams, stay at home with the kids, be a craft diva, dress more stylish, be more organized, and after we have done all of the above still make time for an AMAZING love life!! Does anyone feel encouraged after reading an edition of Cosmo? I don't, I feel like my to do list gets longer!! SO, why in this crazy, hectic world where we are bombarded with what we're doing wrong and how we could do everything better do we attack each other? As women, we should ban together and say, "girlfriend, you're an amazing person! You're doing a great job raising your family, or You're awesome at your job and you are a great Mom!" All mothers have a common goal, to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted children, if our fellow mothers are meeting that goal and are still sane, I say 2 thumbs up!! Amen?

Refer a Friend - Fastweb

Refer a Friend - Fastweb

Need money for college? Fastweb is a great way to find it!! Plus if you register, I am entered to win $500.00 so please do it for me!! Thanks!! ~Katie

New Year ~ New Perspective ~ Fresh Start

I love a new year!! In my mind, I know that it's just another day with a new number on the end of the date but something deep inside of my heart gets excited that it's a brand new year, a full 12 months, without blemish and full of possibilities!! I decided that this year instead of making resolutions I would make a 2012 bucket list. I have had it with seeing a new year come and go without doing any of the things that I set out to do and feeling no different than the year before. I want to live a life of purpose and to do that, I have to live each day... each moment on purpose!! As I began to think on these things, I was reminded of the "big rocks" in my life; in other words, the big priorities in my life, God, Tommy (our marriage), Eli, my health and fitness, school, Mary Kay, church work, close friends, and finances. If I am going to live a life of purpose, that's where I have to start!! On to my bucket list, I looked at all the big rocks and thought of what I would like to do to enhance these areas of my life, to make them count, and that's how my bucket list came to be! I have organized my bucket list into 9 categories AKA the 9 big rocks... here is what I plan to look at everyday and cross things off as I do them, and look back at on December 31, 2012 and say, you did it, GLORY TO GOD!!

2012 Bucket List:

Big Rock #1 - God
1. Read the entire Bible
2. Have at least 30 minutes of quiet time everyday (prayer and Bible study)
3. Ask God to show me where I can help others and be intentional about sharing the salvation message!!
4. Find a way to feed hungry people (don't know what this looks like but it's weighing on my heart)
Big Rock #2- Tommy (our marriage)
5. 365 days of notes (simple I love you or I appreciate you because... written on a post note)
6. Daily Check in/ devotional time (no phones, no television, after the munchkin is asleep!)
7. Monthly hot date!
8. 2 night camping trip (just the two of us)
Big Rock #3- Eli
9. 1 hour of outside time each day that I don't have school
10. Daily devotional time with the God and Me book I gave him for Christmas
11. Research and enroll Eli in a pre k 2 year old program
12. Take a trip to the ATL Aquariaum and Zoo
13. Visit WA once per week (when they are open)
Big Rock #4- Health and Fitness
14. Lose 75 pounds
15. 30 minutes of exercise 5 times per week
16. Walk in the Boston mini marathon
17. Take 1 hr for myself each week
18. Give up Diet Coke
Big Rock #5- School
19. Finish all classes that I register for
20. Maintain a 3.0 GPA
Big Rock #6- Mary Kay
21. Become a star consultant
21. Earn a red jacket
Big Rock #7- Church Work
22. Complete Lay Speaker Certification
23. Complete The Christian as a Minister
24. Continue to embrace the role of pastor's wife
Big Rock #8- Close Friends
25. Stay connected via e mail and facebook
26. Stay involved in weekly Bible Study
Big Rock #9- Finances
27. Pay off credit card
28. Pay off hospital bill
29. sell Tahoe
30. Learn to coupon
MISC
31. Read 6 books

Happy New Year Everyone!! May your year be filled with blessings and be lived out on purpose!!