Blessings show up in all sorts of places! They come in many shapes, forms, and sizes! I received a pair of hand-me-down boots this weekend and they are a blessing to me. The lady that gave them was so joyful in her giving, all she saw was someone who received joy in the boots and she wanted to give them to sustain that joy. The truth is that YES those boots brought joy, they are comfy, they are warm, and most of all, and they make me feel pretty and confidant. What that sweet lady didn’t know was that I don’t have any boots… in fact I didn’t have a single pair of winter shoes (aside from sneakers) in my closet. While this wasn’t a deep pressing need… especially in comparison to the inconceivable, astronomical needs of others here and around the world, to me, in a place in my heart, it was important. You see, my family has recently gone from being a 2 bread winner household to being a 1 breadwinner household. Don’t misunderstand me; we lack nothing that we need. God is faithful and He has provided ABOVE AND BEYOND what we could hope for or imagine. As He did through the sweet lady with the beautiful boots that made this brokenhearted young woman remember that I serve a God who truly does care about even the smallest longings of my heart. Not to say that I will want a corvette and because I do, He will give me one… no, that’s not my point, my point is that He used boots to simply remind me of His love, His grace, His mercy, His faithfulness, and to say, “my child, you’re mine and I love you… I see those deep places in your heart that you don’t allow anyone else to see and I care!” This weekend, I was met with many blessings. I didn’t go expecting to come away with personal blessings, I knew I would see the love of God working in the lives of others, and that it would bless my heart but I wasn’t prepared for what happened when I determined to serve God and others out of even the broken places in my heart. When out of obedience to the Father, I stepped out in faith and did what I thought I couldn’t do, many things in fact that I thought I couldn’t do. The truth, that became a living, breathing reality to me this weekend, is that I still can’t do them… not in myself that is, but “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13. This verse no longer means the same thing to me that it has all my life, to me, it doesn’t mean that I can do anything that I want and desire to do but that I can do all things that God desires and wills me to do by relying on His strength, and not my own. Boots were only the beginning!
I have been walking around with a broken heart full of anger, resentment, loneliness, sadness, and un-forgiveness. Carrying this heavy heart that felt like it weighed at least 15 pounds was causing bitterness to creep into my once very joyous walk with the Lord. After a very painful situation, I determined to weep forward and I did… I learned that God can do amazing things through tears and baby steps!!! And guess what, He did!! He worked through my brokenness! However, my heart wasn’t healing… “Why God?” I’m trusting you to heal it… I know you can… “Why God?” That not so comfortable answer came this weekend… “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.” I wasn’t walking in 100% forgiveness, I was trying, but I wasn’t succeeding. I was slowly building walls around my heart so that no one could get to the brokenness that I was hiding. I wasn’t loving my neighbor, in this case, my enemies, as myself… I can’t!... not on my own. So a few days ago, I asked God to remove the unforgivness, the bitterness, the anger, the loneliness, and the sadness. I gave Him every broken piece of my heart and asked Him to heal it. I asked Him to help me to love my enemies. “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:28 Then, I knelt in prayer and I prayed for the people that I needed to love… I asked God to bless them abundantly and I learned a valuable lesson… through submission, the support of a dear friend, and leading of the Holy Spirit, I realized that God loves those people as much as He loves me!! I knew it in my head, but it became heart knowledge… God loves my enemies, friends, strangers, and loved ones as much as He loves me! We’re all His favorite! Even when we sin and fall short, His love remains faithful and steadfast! Hallelujah!!!!! Isn’t that awesome?
I gave my heart to God this weekend and allowed Him to fill it with love. He did, He filled all the tiny creases of my broken heart with His love, His mercy, and His grace. I’m thankful that He worked through my brokenness and I am also thankful that He lovingly accepted my broken heart when I handed it over to be placed on the potter’s wheel to be reshaped. I lost 15 pounds of “heart weight”… Praise the Lord!
You can’t run when you’re holding suitcases… those baby steps that I was taking through my tears were great for that season but hello to the powerwalk… I dropped the load at the foot of the cross and left it there… isn’t it funny that when I dropped the baggage, I felt light enough to run and what did God give me, new shoes!!! Watch out world, Jesus loves me and He loves you too… PASS IT ON!!!
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