The "Grey" Area

Tonight I asked Tommy to give me his perspective on "Fifty Shades of Grey". I have been reading a lot of commentary from believers and non believers alike about this book and the spectrum seems to be extremely broad; either they love it or they are totally against it. After doing my own research on the book, my personal opinion is that it is not only degrading to women but it is damaging to the marriages of it's readers. I for one don't allow pornography in my home, it would hurt me to my core if my husband were lustful in his heart, mind, or eyes for any other woman. Sex is about visuals for men, while for women it's more in their minds and emotions; that is what this book plays on... creating a fantasy and "grey" area for it's readers. I'm in NO way judging anyone who has read or is going to read this series, hear my heart ladies (or men) I am simply saying that we need to guard our hearts and our minds and keep them holy and pure before the Lord and our husbands. Our sexual desires should be stimulated and fulfilled by our husbands alone, they deserve our full hearts, heads, and emotions in the most intimate part of our marriage... not the leftovers from a book we read, movie we watched, or some guy we saw. I say this to myself as well as to you, reading this... no judgement, just love and sincerity. We all have things in our lives that convict us, mine are different from yours... and we have to walk them out for ourselves before the Lord. Here is a man's take on the matter:

 

Unfortunately Katie has asked me to post my opinion about this book. She has said that she wanted to see a husbands perspective about this apparently hot topic among believers and non believers. I say unfortunately because it is yet anoth...er issue that has come up among Christian brothers and sisters in Christ and there is not a clear defining line. Please don't misunderstand, this topic is not at all new in our homes, its just brought to the surface by this author and I am not at all judging people for their choices, God is the judge of your heart and no one else should tell you otherwise. Some people believe that this trilogy is harmless reading and after all what is really wrong with a "little fantasy" about another man, his mistress, and their contractual agreement to pursue whatever desires they please. Mr. Grey represents just that doesn't he. That "Grey" line between fantasy and reality for the reader. It's ok because it's in that "Grey" area and we really aren't lusting or coveting after someone who isn't our partner and when people question us and hold us accountable we call them judgmental because they shouldn't tell us that we can't read this book because it's in the grey area. Who are they to judge? What do they know that I don't? Who are they to say that it is dangerous to live in the "Grey" area? Most of us are not judgmental. Most of us have felt the effects of sexual impurity in marriage. I'm not talking about cheating on your wife but just the look into a magazine at a scantily clad women who are not your wife. Most of us, those called judgmental, can plainly see the effects of those types of women degrading books on people's marriages because they know the pain their wife felt when they admitted that they had lust in their heart. Men I call this post unfortunate because a lot of men have let their families down in this area and very few have posted anything, good or bad, about this book that I have seen so far and if you have, thank you. This post is unfortunate because we say that this book is ok but yet we can't figure out the communication issues people have in their marriages. We can't figure out why divorce is so rampant in our nation and churches. We can't figure out why living together before marriage is the norm and the beautiful gift of intimacy, not just in the bedroom mind you, between a man and woman is so degraded. Women ask why does my husband look at that stuff and men ask why does my wife not respect me? Maybe it's because we can't clearly define the line, maybe it's because we would rather live in the "Grey" area. Men, please stand up for your wives and share your opinions about this book, we stand in the background enough don't you think? Men of God, be courageous, Take a stand!